As explorers, or anthropologists, what would be our conclusions about the American political system?

We would immediately be caught up in the "two sides". One blue, one red. One represented by donkeys, the other, elephants.

Two sides. . . how can so many people be divided into just two groups of thought? They can't. There are many philosophies, but only the most powerful are given voice.

But realistically, those are the options. Any third side or fourth side candidate is not allowed to contend because "they don't really have a chance of winning". Or "they'll take votes away from the REAL candidate".

So while these sides may appear to vehemently dislike each other, they are sort of in cahoots to keep numbers three, four, or five out of the running. Common ground.

Here's where things start to become interesting. . .

They have an even bigger common enemy: the media. The media supposedly reports the activities of both sides so they make more money from advertisers.

'The Media' claims to be unbiased, but it isn't true. They are loyal to whomever is in power and whomever owns the media outlet.

So aside from the fringe candidates and the media, these two groups have even more exciting and titillating enemies in common.

Prostitutes. Most recently Louisiana Senator David Vitters who gives an awful lot of lip service to abstinence only sex ed, was identified by the DC madam and the Canal Street Madam as being a client.

Under aged boys. Well. . . boy might be a bit of a frame, they were not yet eighteen, let's put it that way. Recently US Representative Mark Foley, once considered a crusader against child abuse and exploitation, got caught sending dirty e-mails and instant messages to boys who were almost eighteen. . . doesn't that count?

Women. Specifically wanton women. There was this one time, the woman was wearing a blue dress. He liked cigars. . . . At least Bill Clinton had the sense to make sure the woman was over the age of consent.

Other noteworthy enemies include. . .

Closeted homosexuality.  (There was that one guy Senator Larry Craig and his "misunderstanding" in the Minneapolis airport and let's not forget New Jersey Democratic Governor Jim McGreevey. He likes men. Wow! Wouldn't have been a problem if he weren't in the closet.);

Extramarital affairs. The list is too long. And really, is this even an issue people care about anymore?

And women who don't like being groped or harassed (The Terminator).

I could go on and on. There are obviously other enemies - crack cocaine (Marion Barry), voter fraud, blah, blah, blah.

Blue, red, elephant, donkey, they seem to want to make all the laws and then break them.

In our research as Martian anthropologists, we'd have to conclude that some form of perversion or criminal record is mandatory for political candidates.

We'd also have to conclude that the non-politicians, the ones who vote (or don't vote), have such a short attention span that really, it doesn't much matter. It's  football season and there's a new season of "The Biggest Loser" and it's back to school time and the kids need new backpacks. And before you know it, it's the holidays again.

The world is made up of frames, and politics is no different. By stepping back and into the shoes of an outsider or a Martian, we can get fresh perspectives on our own frames.

Try it with your life and your persuasion. See how it goes. Tell others about it, tell me about it on this blog. Create a discussion, invite your friends and colleagues to join the discussion here. Lord knows we need to step back from the craziness every once in a while and talk to each other intelligently about what we observe.